Sometimes, when I'm driving alone I talk to myself in a Russian accent so I think it's my mommy and it calms me down.
CAN CRIS ANGEL JUST LOOK NORMAL FOR ONCE?!
I don't know what your problem is but seriously you're a cunt for throwing up that song on your page. It's rude as fuck
omg its myspace i didnt think anyone took that seriously anymore
There comes a time in every girls life when she must use her boobs for good instead of evil.
Your pregnant arnt you
He talks to me in this sweet I know you might be pregnant voice.
no more duck duck goose at the bar
Do you think I can wear the dress I went to jail in with the shoes I went to prom in to the wedding tonight?
On monday, while we were having crazy monkey sex, I earned $82. Vacation pay rocks.
My mom just invited me to come with them on their honeymoon to Mexico this summer. And I got a Bump-It in my stocking.
Pass the awkward sauce please.
I'm drowning in it here
i got a standing ovation for bringing skittles to the party
We invented this drinking game where you pick and random video and drink for every misspelled word in the youtube comments. It did not end well.
Just me, my martini, and my backup Martini.
I think everyone, including the amish, know who you are after this weekend.
I don't want to sleep with anyone. I just want a burrito
Dude how about today while I was on lunch someone died in the break room at work....I didn't even know we had a break room!!
Randomize
