I wonder how skeet ulrich feels about the skeet skeet phrase and and what it denotes.
The solution to mudbutt is never ever Clorox wipes. It stings soooooooo bad.
There's a mirror laying face down next to me. A looooong full body mirror. By the looks of it it fell off the wall last night and was within centimeters of shattering on my head. Awesome.
His dick was poking my bladder. That big...
she's on the floor slapping my dogs face with slices of pizza
My life is a requiem composed in the key of fuck.
He said he loved me so I pretended not to hear it because I don't think "I love your penis" was the response he was looking for.
She sat on the stairs and yelled sex positions at us. I don't remember if we went along with it but judging by the beer and condoms I'm thinking yes.
Also, I think I'm too drunk to be at the gym right now. But how sober do you need to be for IM volleyball?
I remember because you made a pirate noise when you came.
Reading an example in the GRE study book referencing Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles while wearing TMNT pajamas. *airfist*
omg please tell me you're eating pizza right now too.
So I'm going to regale you with a tale of someone who went out, was fed way to many shots, got super wasted and now has a date with one of the security guards from the building but has no idea what his name is. That someone is me
So, I just found out Ireland, is #1 in binge drinking. I know its Sunday but this one is for America.
His dick is social distance approved
Social distance approved?
big enough for me to fuck from six feet away
When you called me I said did you make it home. You said yeah. Then you said you didn't know where you were. I said you were at home and you said but where. I said you are in the bathroom. Then you said oh, you're so smart lol
Randomize
