Dude she looked like Jerry Garcia's knuckles
I miss you like a fat girl misses the prom.
grinding to god bless the USA? really?
shut up
She has a t-rex face on a stuart little body.
Bar. Show boob. Just one. Free drinks. Instant friends
Guys only need one. Little known secret. You're welcome.
so my doctor just swabbed my throat, and he looked up in suprise when i had no gag reflex. yea, he just judged me.
He doesn't need a wingman, he needs a miracle
Hippo gnu deer
She was our DD the least I could do is have sex with her. Even when drunk I'm still chivalrous.
i feel like the wall was a canvas for his penis.
Girl behind me in line at cvs was getting impatient then outta nowhere blew up shouting that if she didn't get her plan b soon she might be a mom abd that if we couldn't tell she'd be a terrible mom
Ps we ordered a pizza at the pool today and I dropped the entire thing in the pool. We still ate it. #canthang
I think getting right with the Lord should involve more than me and a bottle of tequila.
suburban family judging/laughing at us after Jenna just pulled two flasks out of her boot on the subway
I WILL go to space. And if we find aliens I WILL fuck one. It’s the Marine Corps way
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