I walked into cold stone and the guy started preparing a supersized birthday cake remix for "Mrs. Munchies"
Well, I can't relate. I have no idea what it feels like to withhold sex. Or have self-control in general.
the australian girl literally just drank an entire pitcher of beer in about twenty seconds. i want to go to there.
i always knew that i'd have sex in your room, i just assumed it would be with you
Im in your car brotha dog. Its was unlocked, so im gonna sleep in it. well i mean i think its your car be your car.
Getting up is taking longer than anticipated. Alcoholic fish bowls have made getting out of bed a multitstep process.
I promise not to drug you or anything. Please come to my birthday party.
I just woke up entirely naked on top of a pile of some guy's laundry on his bedroom floor.
GLITTER SLIP N SLIDE MUTHAFUCKAH~
I'll pay you to write the paper but not for sex. You should only get paid for something you work hard at.
You kept running up to married couples, taking their pictures and begging for them not to get divorced
Definitely just threw up in a mcds cup going through Wendy's drive thru. I'm way to hungover to go to work today
I expect you will be there for a drunken 3way with my husband again this new year.
He said that we couldn't refer to each other as brother and sister anymore cuz we were in no way related and he would love nothing more than to get naked with me.
we went outside for a smoke and when we came back in you were ptfo on the floor holding the phone to your ear. Pizza pizza was on the line.
Randomize
