Why were you high on a thursday?
today's a wednesday
I asked first.
i'm pretty sure you said "blowjob marathon" lastnight
i totally said that
So you honestly dont remember putting honey in your bong? You kept talking about how you wanted to become a bee and fly
I know you didn't add your TWO random hook ups from the weekend to your FB friends AND change your status to "Good Catholic Girl" on the same day.
I kinda wish he had even a slight idea of the sex I'm planning for his departure. I'm literally studying for it.
seriously my hangover is so bad I feel like my eye lashes make blinking a workout
Lost my key. Fell asleep on the doorstep and got woken up by host grandma poking me with a broom.
My new dealer is 16. I have been getting high longer than he has been alive.
I don't see the problem
DO IT, or I'll send you pictures of my hickey to remind you of your loneliness
Was the first guy that bit your neck last night wearing a trenchcoat...I have a vague memory.
sooo the guy I beat last night in strip pong is the manager's husband at my new job...
I need to pull it together. I just cried my eyes out to Master Chef Junior.
I'm questioning my decision to swallow this morning while my stomach was in hangover mode
Me saying I wish i was a better person + me pretending I don't want to fuck on my period = me lying
I've never had to say don't judge me for chip clips in the shower before
Randomize
