Hi, this is ****, we hooked up a few weeks ago. I was wondering, do you have any STDs?
Dude, hurry and get over. I need a wingman. She is on her 6th vodka shot and her resident ugly friend is still sober
she had condoms in her med. cabinet - magnums -I don't think I'm tall enough for this ride
She was so happy she found her sunglasses, that she blew me. Im now randomly hiding things of hers in hopes she'll find them and I'll get a repeat performance.
I just remembered before I gave him head I couldn't find a hair tie and he offered to hold my hair up. Maybe we were wrong.. Maybe he does have a heart.
She said i kept moaning her moms name instead of hers
Let me begin my 3 part apology by saying that you are a wonderful human being...
Everything smells like blood and olive oil.
I just want a sensitive guy who will get drunk with me then take me out to steal things. Is that too much to ask?
It's was about average. But he had a tat on his thigh that said "pull-out n' rollout" so I won't have to worry about a round two request.
For not really liking Christmas, I have an astounding amount of holiday-themed lingerie
It's hard picking what to wear when you know the plan is sex. Like can't I just wear my robe let's just simplify this.
I'm crying during the second episode of Golden Girls that's how high I am.
hey can you send me that pic of that dude?...if this isn't Rochelle's phone...can you please find and tell Rochelle to send me that picture of that dude?
Like Napoleon Dynamite?
Exactly like Napoleon Dynamite
But with bacon.
Randomize
