apparently they started giving me water shots and i couldnt tell the difference
After last night's events, I googled "how to change your life direction." I found a really helpful ehow.com article.
you were licking his little sister's watercolors and trying to paint with your tongue.
Vanessa Carlton's songs would be so much better if she was pretty
After New Year's Eve I will be hibernating my life away. Only wake me up for skiing, schnapps, and sex. In that order.
I started drinking at around 8.. Started heavily drinking around 815.
I tackled a mailbox like a linebacker. He almost broke his hip and his friend lit a bottle rocket off inside of the car. Yes it was a successful night.
I had a dream about masturbating with toys I can't afford.
My sex life and finances are equally in shambles.
not totally sure where im at but i think i've definitely woken up on this couch before. bong on the coffee table looks familiar. should be able to find my way home
Im gonna wear a random assortment of things for Halloween, guy with the most creative answer gets laid
I just looked down and realized I was walking around in briefs and a ninja turtle shirt; and for a second, I thought I was 8 again... Weird...
Everyone says I win the strip club
I'm sorry I couldn't bail you out, apparenty they dont take credit cards over the phone. Did you at least make any friends in jail?
That’s true love. If they recognize a chocolate mold of your anus.
test was negative. but nancy drew has yet to solve the case of the missing period.
Randomize
