The line was so long at Kum n Go some guy opened & drank 2 beers from his 12 pack while waiting.
Vanessa Carlton's songs would be so much better if she was pretty
this weekend will be like the season finale to my life
Just accidentally pinched my dick between two 50 pound dumbbells while doing shoulder shrugs. God hates me.
I swear a good massage is the easiest way in my pants.
Not that there's a hard way... but you know what I mean.
I need to stop fucking people before I get to know them
So yes, he's hot, a scorpio, an artist and a perfect cock. I think my bi train just arrived in gay town.
I think I'm still fucked. I can see the electricty going through the street car lines
We need to get her a baby shower present. And no, a blow up sex doll with her dead boyfriends picture stuck to it, is not appropriate.
I just spent the last ten minutes making a timeline of my sex life. 2010 and 2011 I am calling "I can't believe Im still clean" years.
I mean, two foreign guys have drunkenly confessed their love for her, so she's clearly doing something right.
tried to chug a glass full of ice cubes. went better then expected.
For the record, it's NEVER ok to discuss my stripper-related injuries with my fiance.
Henceforth: booty calls will now be referred to as "deliveries of anatomy". That is all.
I would offer you moral support, but I have questionable morals..
Randomize
