Yes give me all the cream and he's gone
How far into the semester do we have to be before it's ok to get drunk in between classes again?
Showering in the handicapped shower. Im THAT hungover.
the girl next to me in class is drinking a margarita out of a slurpee cup. i know your going to ask how i know its a margarita and the answer is i can smell the tequila. i never want to leave this place
Too long to explain. Basically I started an electircal fire. No one was hurt except for a box of cereal near the outlet.
gross. I think i'll just donate all my eggs. My children will be incredible, but they're not welcome in my womb
thank you for reminding me that I stumbled into a public place drunk at 9am wearing a chicks pants.
Teflon bitches. Nothing fucking sticks to this kid, not even a kid. Maury Povitched this shit outta that situation.
This weekend i learned three things 1) skittles in vodka is good 2) it takes more than a roll of quarters to get a cab home 3) never tell a bartender to give you your change in actual change
Yaaaayyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyy! It has more than one y so my intentions to sleep with you after the drink special ends are clear
Face washed and sleeping pill taken. Here's hoping for a more sex filled tomorrow.
I genuinely attribute some of my blowjob skills to playing saxophone in highschool
Rough day
Good thing I've started drinking again
Bacon and your penis are involved. Of course I'm going over.
I lost my cyber virginity to a guy I barely knew in high school while a Togepi Plushie watched.
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