mom found the triscuts in her underwear drawer, its done.
We broke into the space center. If i go to jail I wanted to tell you, you have a fantastic dick. Use it wisely.
She told me she loves her boyfreind while she was giving me head. He must be a nice guy
But you've got to admit , for how blackout I was I look fucking unreal in those pictures
I can't tell if I'm getting better at doing my online spanish hw drunk or if my teacher is just grading on creativity. Either way that senoritas gettin an applebees gift card when i graduate.
One of the art pieces was basically this chick throwing raw meat at the audience, anyone who got hit (which I did) got a free shot of whiskey. It was worth it.
HE TALKS ABOUT HIS DICK IN THIRD PERSON ABORT MISSION ABORT FUCKING MISSION
Next time, dont ever let me talk to a guy drunk, especially if I have class with him the next day
Who do you have class with??
The guy that pulled down his pants in the middle of the dance floor to show me his tattoo
It's accurate though. I am legitimately passionate about pickles. I crave pickles the same way I crave sex. It is a deep rooted animalistic need
I just had a sex dream about orange juice, so there's that.
It's all part of my master plan: have him buy me all I can eat pizza and all I can drink beer AND THEN tell him there was no spark and we're better off as friends.
I just matched the dude who's car I rear ended 2 years ago on tinder. I don't think he remembers.
Can't find my wig, my underwear, or my dignity. Halloween 2016
was that the third sophomore you've banged this week?
third one in three days
Just by hearing the girl outside reciting the info on her fake ID, I know it's gonna be a good night
Randomize
