Kenny Powers is just a normal guy with exceptional hair
Maybe i shouldn't have told him the key to getting in my pants was double vodka sodas and Nelly's song "grillz."
well this feels familiar. awake at the crack of dawn laying in the fetal position praying for the sweet release of death. i think im done with jager for a while
he kept telling me that god made these magical balloons called condoms
Is it penis luge time yet?
And I also succeeded in getting kicked out of a bar when I was drinking straight from the vodka bottle at our table.
As the bouncer was escorting you out, you yelled "keep your filthy dick beaters off me!"
Safe to say I'm terrified but totally AMPED
who sends a dick pic at 3 am on a sunday honestly
seriously. and now it'll take him hours to clean up the glitter
Just realized Ive never seen my f buddy in the daylight. What if he looks different?
Used my brand new sperrys as a trash can to throw up in and woke up with someone's random key in my hair...new year new me:)
I do remember that in my dream I wasn't impressed with his dick.
How many more of your relationships do I have to destroy before you realize sleeping with me isn't a good idea?
I came on her face and asked if she wanted fries with that. Currently driving to McDonald's.
How’s big weiner McGee?
I’m going to ask you one last time to call him Matt and he’s fine thank you very much
Randomize
