my door was closed and her door was closed but even over the r.kelly playing at full blast i was able to hear her say "THAT'S NOT THE RIGHT HOLE!". Def rethinking my roommate situation.
And then she started grabbing onto random guys legs, asking their names, and if they wanted to be friends... Haha, I love when the girls my ex's are dating are total drunken whores.
I'm so hungover that the internet is hard.
is there a reason why there is cup of piss in the fridge?
no
Nothing makes my dick softer than hot girls in rain boots.
The story about him having a girlfriend changed real fast when he found out that I was a gymnast
What a whore. She reminds me of that asian guy who can eat all the hotdogs.
Was the mom I hooked up with decently attractive I feel like her two friends were hotter
This Xanax laced vodka tonic will help me forget that all these spring breakers are all young enough to have been my students.
What an age we live in that I can try to pick up a guy by using my phone while I'm taking a shit at work.
the cab driver said that we weren't the worst shit show he'd ever seen, CHALLENGE ACCEPTED!!
Sweating vodka and spray tan, I feel like a trophy wife.
Might I also add after my boss threw up in the garbage can and yelled puking rally, he dougied, then told me I wasn't about that life.
I can't relate, I like my boobs roaming free like a wild animal, and I occasionally let them devour small children
Monday afternoon and I'm still hungover from Valentine's Day. I think I'm winning at the single life.
Randomize
