butt plug
anus plug
rubbish cock?
yes
you suck at this game today
it was a mass text i'm sorry
do you usually send 'hey sexy' as a mass text?
Never eat 3 McGriddles and drink a carton of milk. It's like you're successfully killing self but you're alive.
We have nothing in common but the sex rocks, would it be awful to develop a drug habit just to have a topic of conversation?
he then proceeded to tear down my curtains, wrap them around his waist, and use the rod as his "rod"... you tell me how drunk he is...
I wish a box of wine came w a hose. It'd be so much easier to drink from.
I think I collapsed a disk in my spine when I drunkenly lifted that fat girl on my shoulders to chicken fight at the pool.
Oh boom. You're officially Dr Phil. I need to have sex that I actually remember participating in.
DAMMIT Im supposed to be running a company not discussing dick piercings!
Is there an "I fucked your brother" emoji?
I think it's your fault my nipples aren't sensitive anymore.
It is NEVER not funny to me when I am sitting at a table and I've touched the dicks of every single person I'm sitting with.
I literally ended up in this basement and was tangoing w my friend and then I peed in a supply closet and had to be put to bed
May have told my history professor I wanted him to stuff me like a turkey. Too slutty?
Nah, people appreciate the creativity of seasonal sluttiness. Let me know if it works!!!
Reverse road head. Sa-witch!!!
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