just went to get groceries. a cashier said she saw me last night. i guess i carried a broom back from the party and swept the street the whole walk back...and i claimed to be in the cast of wicked
watching jon and kate + 8 right now is like watching my parents split up
But never have I ever had sex with a dirty talker before, so it was something else, to say the least. I signed up to get laid, not play Penthouse Mad Libs.
guess they didn't have any donuts in her size.
Just seeing my phone say "picture message from: Senor Floppy Cock", i knew it was going to make me smile.
I drove to Chevron at noon and the Hatian lady goes "Oh, nothing to drink yet white boy?"
okay, I promise to stop paying strippers to hit you
My nipple ring got caught on the rug again. Tequila makes me unlearn these things
He compliments me like a gay guy and fucks me like a starved nympho. I'm in love.
The kid in the park, who was on a leash I might add, looked at us and yelled "stranger danger" before hiding behind his dad
Normally I would go for him, but there's just way too much vodka under the bridge for that
I texted him that I wanted to be more than fuck buddies so when I came over he gave me a punch card. He takes me I dinner every 10 fucks.
Go for it! You're young. Have fun. Be somebody's expensive hobby like Anastasia Steele.
haha it's ok, I asked people. I was like "I'm high and lost" and the dude just said "That's my life. Love it."
Ahhh, beer. My second favorite breakfast drink.
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