I won a flip cup tournbment! Why is boot and rally so hard when youre old?
it doesn't get any better than taco bell and soft core porn
big game today.. looking forward to seeing that magic win, and then i will celebrate with a nude dip in lake Eola.. anyone else in??
i just realized that fran drescher is the 90's version of a guidette.
yeah he was eating me out and i didnt know someone made popcorn so I thought the smell was comming from my vagina
wtf
im already regretting the extreme lack of break up sex that took place
there are chunks of pepperoni under the sheets. can you be here in 10? breakfast in bed?
We were all drunk for the whole flight. Steve doesn't even remember the cab ride to the airport. At 6am. Says he "blacked back in" at security.
When I eventually hook up with a resident lets refer to it as taking a hands on approach to my job
I have got to stop making out with redheads. I need to sign my life over to my dad like Britney Spears.
her mom went out of her way to book us a room with separate beds... her level of gay denial is in beast mode
I think you're my mermaid sister. Separated at birth, by sea.
Now some guy that's in my phone as " Alex lip ring hot" is texting me and I don't where life is taking me
reason #326 why I'm still single.... my date just told me there's a little boy ghost that lives in his closet because he likes his music.
girl pulled up to the stop sign, got out, threw up all over my hood said happy thanksgiving then drove off
Randomize
