5 out of the 6 of them cut their hands while trying to shot gun the beer, I had never seen balls attached to such patheticness
I'm ashamed of you 12 hours later and 200 miles away
Jon thought he was that blonde chick from Three's Company when he was shrooming
I got asked if I was pregnant as a pickup line
I'm being responsible and going as a gay, slutty Mormon missionary. It's responsible because I'll have a bike helmet on for when I fall over because I'm too shitfaced to stand upright. It's safer than Count Fagula. I just need to come up with a line equal or greater than "Blaaaa I want to suck your dick"
I could of sworn you were praying in the strip club.
Your lack of dedication to alcohol is forcing me to drink with my ex husband. U suck
I went to pick my brother up downtown and I stopped at a red light a homeless old man comes up knocks on the window shows me his penis and then screams money
I have walked into stripper central, but I'm on the street at 1:00 in the afternoon
i just woke up to her giving me a toothy BJ so I had to break into your bedroom and steal about 4 condoms. Sorry for waking you. :(
You used his ass cheeks to demonstrate how to play the bongos and he still called you the next day. That's true love.
Grrr. Fine. You get oral for being unwrong.
I just want to nap all the time and eat Chinese food.
i just went to hell in the tanning bed. i think god is giving me a preview of what is in store if i keep getting drunk everyday.
I'd kiss your neck and collarbone and then run my tongue up your neck to just behind your ear
And then lightly kick the curve inside your ear
Randomize
