Already got asked if we're dating
Lets evaluate? U kissed one boss and lef twith another man. I cock teased the other, hardcore had a tongue jammed down my throat, made out w aa third then left in a cab w alex w them all yelling at me and offering rides. My cheek was also licked and bitten by 2 other men and we almost made out (u and me) because they asked. were hired.
what the fuck were we smoking when we had a conversation about how my brother would be so proud if i fucked an orange alien?!?
Tell mom and/or dad that I am going to be home late. I am really blazed. Don't tell them that part, though.
we have 69 mutual friends...i have to add her
I cant do that to my vagina yet. its my prize posession.
So you think it's my fault? I didn't give you the 10 shots you took nor make you eat the brownies we made... btw, i found your engagement ring, it was in the last brownie you wouldn't let me have while dragging me to my room.
Did the vodka turn my hair yellow or did something else happen last night?
Not drinking has really freed up a lot of my time. I made a bracelet yesterday. I miss bars.
I need rollerblades now
Rollerblades pick up bitches
We are so drunk half our team had to bowl with a chaperone. We won every game. We drink
Good news: you're over the drunk crying life phase. Bad news: now you're handy and violent. You were groping me from behind in front of the guy you like, then you put me in a headlock and swept the leg.
If you bring home Chipotle tonight I'll give you an epic bj...ball play and all #datenight
Stop confusing me with every girl you know that doesn't like sex.
There’s nothing that says motivation more than watching these little geniuses on Kids Baking Championship New Year’s Day. I’m ready to fuck shit up this year.
Randomize
