Yeah someone just put a trash bag that says "use protection" on the snow penis
I thought he wouldn't talk to me again. You know, what's that saying "why buy the cow when you can fuck it six hours after meeting"
It's getting increasingly easier to use his emotional instability to my advantage. That's about all he has going for him right now.
and lets be real... who can blow a middle school class's sunday school teacher and keep a straight face ever again? NOBODY.
I'm naked and wearing a cowbell.i love med school.
I was in my bathroom taking a shit and my mom just opened the door, walked in, handed me a fudgesicle, and left without saying a word. Yeah. That just happened.
how much ball-pain constitutes an emergency?
The best part about drinking boxed wine is you can blow up the bag and use it as a pillow
Oh god iv'e slept with this police officer before oh god oh god
We're going to work out tomorrow I guess but it usually consists of doing weights for 10 minutes, then saying fuck cardio and going to Taco Tuesday
We hooked up last night. I think it was great for our friendship.
Like I could never be a lawyer because I would just look like a porn star impersonation of a lawyer.
We will let tequila do the talkin this weekend
I just want to be like "i dont know you but ive seen your penis & i like it"
He's a downgrade and it was quick. But it was dick nonetheless.
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