There are traffic cones in the living room. One of them is yours.
he just put it in my mouth and said "go"
Dude. Muppets take manhattan on netflix instant. Pass my midterm or relive my childhood? Tough decision.
This guy just showed us his webbed feet to prove that his son was actually his son
5am is far to early to be on jagerbomb number 6 right now
Washing vom off hardwood, so much easier than carpet. Thank you adulthood!
then she kicked a hole in her own door and the next thing you know, brian's walking up to her room with power tools. in no condition to use them
There's somethin not right about having to take the batteries out of your 27 year old boyfriends gameboy to use in your vibrator
Just so we're clear this time around: This is dinner with my FAMILY. Not an opportunity for you to drink too much, and use the word "dick-thumpin" in casual conversation.
How was the party? Lets put it this way: "He wants her dick" was a factual sentence stated last night.
Want to run by the liquor store later? Tequila Youn should really be in attendance at Party Mountain. No one else could be our spirit animal.
I was like, booze is the closest thing I have to a father. Don't pour daddy down the sink
Blacked out drunk in California and woke up somewhere in Arizona, I'm pretty sure I got here on foot
EITHER I'M HIGH OR JUST REACHED A NEW LEVEL OF SINGLE FEMALE SADNESS BECAUSE THIS BROWNIE IS GIVING ME ORGASMS
Question: When you have the names of 4 guys tattoo'd on you, how do you make the 5th one real special?
Randomize
