what if I'm pregnant?
smusmorshion
im so hungover...we just watched The Perfect Storm and i got seasick
At Wal-Mart last night I watched two guys scramble for $4.34 to pay for a pack of ping pong balls and red solo cups. They had to put the .34 on a credit card. Winter break begins!
It's when I'm in my pajamas and in need of a gin delivery that I miss NYC most of all.
just passed out again, this time at a subway. On a positive not they gave me a free sandwich, pretty sure out pity but at this point i don't care
oh and speaking of men I've slept with. Ryan lost 1/3 of a testicle zip lining
can i bring anything?
Any of the following: Sex doll, side dish, fruits/vegetables that look like dildos, beer
is there a theme i should know about?
I told you you to bring something to share....you brought tequila and a condom
The way I kissed her was actually pretty charming and then it devolved to car sex
With great liquor, comes great irresponsibility. Remind me of this night tomorrow.
WHAT IS MY LIFE THAT THE ONLY PERSON INTERESTED IN FUCKING ME IS MY 6TH GRADE MATH TEACHER
He told me I'm a small core of pure evil wrapped up in sweetness, gold, and puppies. He gets me.
That is beautiful
It's situations like these that make me climb out of windows
My neighbors are white girl rapping to Hamilton again...
You know my vagina and my heart have a mind of their own even when it’s pouring snow.
Randomize
