I think men at large are the problem in most or all relationships. It's like trying to drag a three-legged retarded puppy through an obstacle course
I want Jason Statham to talk British to my vagina.
Springtime is officially here. I just used pool water to fill up the bong
i looked up his schedule, waited outside his classroom, and handed him the receipt for plan b
Just bought two budlight beers with a can of tuna at the bar
there are too many children here to make this hangover-friendly
Actions speak louder than pants.
According to the bell hop, we stumbled in about 4 and then cannon balled into the pool.
Do you knowwwwww you never ha to pee while lhr on eztacy
I hope my orgasm sounds aren't secretly that bad and no one tells me
How does this dude know what a dying walrus sounds like? That's the real question
Sweet. Well pat yourself on the back this penis just burst back into the the game and the vaginas of millions
You played Frank Sinatra today after we had sex. You moved way up in my literal book of men. Congrats.
Being sober is boring. Tomorrow I'm def bringing wine and my vibrator to work. Might even booty call that hot guy on floor 5. Making the last week at this job legendary.
Last night when we banged she had nothing else on but socks that said 'property of Jesus' on them.
I don't get it. If he broke into Taco Bell at 2 am, then why couldn't he have brought me home a fucking taco???
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