I've come to the conclusion that as a grad student I would much rather prefer to get laid then get drunk
I think you know full well that a few years ago my stance was the polar opposite
Best news ive heard all week. The cougars r coming! The cougars are coming!
then he said "your boobs looked so much bigger on girls gone wild"
I forgot about that,good spring break.
Nothing says "get your life together" better than waking up in a tub full of your own vomit. Twice. In one night.
Did you bedazzle the elevator?
I had a dream about a vibrator with 42 different settings. If that's not a good indication I need to get laid, I don't know what is
They tried to dine n dash at dennys and the waiter jumped on their car and broke their windshield
No. Dude. I didn't knoe it eas floibg to move. It's slepprru ixuy!
She deserves a chance to suck my penis. This is America. Its her God given right.
you said "i met the love of my life tonight" and i said "me?" and you said "no, hummus"
I basically gave Miranda rights to the guy I hooked up with, jus so we were all clear what was happening
Never thought I'd say this, but getting head from a skeleton was better than I thought. Happy Halloween
we were running around the halls trying to bloodhound search out the source of the weed smell, but we ran into six other people doing the same thing, and they all said they assumed it was us.
Yeah, oh and the story gets better. His friend was dressed as a christmas tree wrapped in twinkle lights and had to plug himself in the wall all night.
I learned tonight while in another country that no matter the nationality, men are disappointing in bed
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