I want to bang chis in dee ass burt he be hating on me times two. Me be tryin ti love onu
Bendover
I'm bakin' bread in my pussy!
What?
I have a yeast infection.
my mom just poured a water bottle of wine to take my dog on a walk...
It made me think of you cause he just screamed "CAPTAIN PLANET" a lot and kicked people in the balls.
She texted me shhh....im drunk, secret booty call...how could i say no?
Most men with as many freckles as you aren't vagina magnets. You are an exception to your kind.
I was able to hide the fact that I had just shit in my pants, and then wupped her ass at FIFA
I'm jealous that you can use my boobs as pillows & I can't.
I'm in public and Taylor Swift is playing. It is taking all my effort to not screech like a goat.
Stumbled across a pregnancy test in my closet. Oh, the freshman year flashbacks..
My doctor said I can only have one drink at a time, ever, from now on. My life has officially started its decline.
she walked up to me at the bar, kissed me, andthen declared "I HAVEN'T SEEN YOU OR YOUR PENIS SINCE 2011."
I put the area codes from ludacris' "area codes" into our expensive data visualization software at work, it's been a productive day
I can't believe you tried to cock block me from A DIFFERENT TIME ZONE.
Remember, I smoked so you wouldn't have to. I'm like the Jesus of Marijuana.
Randomize
