u ever jackoff with ur legs spread and pretend ur fuckin urself as a girl and get mad u'll never know what that feels like. Or to fly like a bird?
Did u absorb a fraternal twin in the womb?
she literally pooped in the closet. i sent the picture to everyone i know.
I'm at the bass pro shop. They have a river full of trout and turtles, a shooting range, a full bar, and the patriots cheerleaders are here. I now understand why people are rednecks. I may never leave
I don't even want to think what you did to boys being that drunk and horny.
Then I wouldn't suggest looking at the pictures from last night.
She gave him HEAD floating down the river in a tube as big a a tire. I just don't know how to compete with that sort of level of slut.
I've spent the last three hours watching 30 rock and eating marshmallows and ham. I'm considering taking up weed to justify my lifestyle.
He's either jacking off or listening to Kanye West.
Can you tell me how this chicken finger got in my pillow case?
A big dick and how quickly they respond to snapchat is all I look for in a guy
I think it would be reallllly cool if you took your best friend to work so she doesnt have to have an awkward cab ride with the driver she drunkenly made out with last night ...
Sometimes i think i need to stop drinking because i can't afford losing so many panties anymore
He's drinking on a hospital bracelet, the fuck's your excuse?
I had to bail out of the tour de Franzia because I have class Saturday morning. Grad school is ruining my life
Wish me luck. My vagina needs it.
May his noodley appendage touch you.
On the flip side, we did almost have sex wearing a gorilla mask and deer antlers.............
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