She said her name was "party"
Yah man, that place is surreal
Man, I'm from Tennessee. What the fuck is surreal?
normally I beat off every night before I go to bed even though my little brother sleeps in the same room. So I was starting to last night, and he jumped out of bed and said "Fuck, Im not listening to this shit again" We havent talked since. fuck me
if i hurry i can finally have sex while stoned off my ass
godspeed.
Bottle rocket just missed my head by about 3 inches. Of course I'm being safe
She didn't even ask about the dinosaur pinata in my trunk. Like at this point I think these are the things she expects from me
Plus I'm pretty sure you said "love you" on the phone, so technically I should be putting you on some type of probation
Definitely a Xanax and Jell-O shots kinda day...except my Jell-O shots are really just a big bowl of a Jell-O shot that I use a spoon to eat.
I totally OverDed on K2 last night. I felt like I was made of lead and then I had a panic attack.
I had to write an apology letter to my roomate for hotboxing in our bathroom. What a bitch.
A 3am FaceTime to go to IHOP is the closest thing to a bootycall that I'm getting
I don't get it. Why have babies when you can have vodka?
Apparently I was having great conversation with this 48 year old on grindr & he was concerned as to how I was getting home.
I feel like I should be having more sex dreams of my boyfriend than his sister..
Somehow i instagrammed my acceptance letter while blacked out. Then my grandma was the first to comment on it. I got over 50 likes....Phd here I come....
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