dude..why do i always have to pick up the kitty litter after you drink?
his facebook status quotes britney spears so there is always that
I have a love/hate relationship when men come within a 10 minute time frame.
since when did accompanying a guy to a wedding mean that anal was required that night?
It's impossible to flirt with the bank tellers because they see how broke I am.
I wish Facebook had filters like: Ivy League school, frat boy, straight, extremely wealthy, great in bed.. I would check all of them
I feel as if I owe my bloodstream some tequila.
I've blown him while he hit my bong, I've blown him while he played video games and now I'm looking for a new challenge. Don't even try suggesting a blumpkin.
So guess who got away with telling their girlfriend she's insane multiple times in a Valentine's day card. Yup, this guy.
So worth it. Come over for bacon egg cheese vusquit later. 12. I slept with Jimmy? On my period? And told him he had mother issues? No tequila. Tequila bad.
Definitely had a dick in my ass while watching the Seahawks win. Best NFC Championship game ever.
I was proudly and successfully the first girl ever to get kicked out of a the bar for being too drunk last night. Loving spring break.
man my uterus needs to drop the egg or GTFO, BUUUSHIT
Did he think I was flirting with him when I ordered a hot dog bc no
I'm hungover and in a fort. And I hate you.
So many questions
Randomize
