and on the seventh day, God created megan fox
You tied the party balloons to your nipple ring so that everyone would know you partied.
he kept refering to his penis as the "eternal sunshine"
It's like God was speaking to me through a penis.
i screwed him while his gf was puking in the shower. 2011 is looking up already
Still not exactly sure how i unbolted your toilet from the ground.
Come get her ASAP. She's "people bowling," which is just her rolling into random groups of people. People look pissed.
Update... last night a man tried to bite my ear. I think he swallowed my pearl earring.
Lets go hit some boners bro!
I appreciate the acceptance and inclusion, but that's not how we gay men talk.
There's s woman at the corner of the bar dancing by herself in her seat and making eye contact with me. Please hurry.
the manischevitz sangria was a big hit
We stopped mid-sex and both shotgunned a beer then got back to it. Is this what love feels like?
Someone stole a lamp last night.
I was very impressed with his ability to carry on a conversation with his friends sitting in the front seat with his hand in my pants, getting a hand job, stoned, with a cigarette in his mouth. I think he's a keeper.
Do you think it would be okay if i cleaned my cartilage piercing with the leftover vodka?
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