I think your mom looks like a breed of donkey and elephant, but her boobs are perfect
Bro can a girl get pregnant if i jizz in her mouth?
hahahahahahahahahahaha
I was thinking about him in the shower then i get out of the shower and there was a text from him
its like he has a camera inside of my shower that looks into my brain
How does, "Im sorry I was such an intoxicated bitch, I didn't mean anything I said" sound as an apology.
He doesn't make grammatical errors. Even while getting head.
Yeah go get her. And don't bring her clothes I want her to walk back in her Christmas stocking dress. Take pictures.
I'm not wearing a bra, watching Netflix and eating gushers. I don't know a better way to spend a hangover.
so gross sitting on a warm chair at a restaurant..you just know a fat person was sitting there shoveling food into their face for hours.
No, we got so into acting out our role play characters we didn't even fuck. still sucess.
FALSE ALARM! I didn't piss myself, I fell asleep in the shower and then drunkingly crawled into my bed
4:37 am. You're wearing underwear and carpet skates. Borderline crying. You want to punch Morgan. Have not stopped singing Give Your Heart a Break.
Which I'm also surprisingly fine with. If he walked into the bedroom naked, holding a fish in one hand and a lit candle in the other and said "Let's get fucking weird." I'd probably go with it. He's just that hot.
The school security guard knows my name.... I think I'm missing some memories...
By the way I got my period today. No NHL babies for me.
Idk if my headache is from the alcohol, the pot brownies, or being dragged down 8 flights of stairs by my ankles because i passed out in the 12th floor girls bathroom by you. Probably a combo of all three.
Randomize
