it turns out vodka filled condoms arent that funny
apparently it's okay for him to stick his dick in my mouth but not to let me have a can of diet pepsi for the road.
I told him that he is like a snow storm I never know when he is coming, how many inches I will get, or how long it will last
He waited til after we had sex to tell me he had herpes... Ugh I hate being drunk
Because the last time i saw or spoke to him he came all over me in a hammock.
Dude, somewhere around here makes 4loko slushies. I just decided coming home isn't so bad.
He kept insisting that I was going to have an orgasm but it just felt like he was rubbing sand paper on my vagina
When I found her she was drinking wine out of a plastic bag in a bathroom stall, staring at herself in the mirror and crying hysterically. Cabo does things to a person...
I defriended her. I just can't support someone whose profile picture is of their water birth.
Would it be sharing too much to tell you that my nipples hurt so much that I couldn't comfortably go down the stairs?
My mom just told me my dad shaves his pubes while drunk and I don't know how to feel anymore.
I am not working on the very first day I can throw up alcohol that I legally bought and drank.
LOOK, I was 19, and I made a lot of choices with my crotch which I'm weirdly proud of
Yes dear.
woke up and you werent here...its ok if we're never going to speak again but my furry hand cuffs are missing and i would like them back. thanks.
yeah, last night we handcuffed you and you started crying saying that you weren't a bad person
Randomize
