I love you
are you drunk
yes but I def love you, we should get married
But I'm Jewish
embrace Jesus
You should just wear a sign that says "I like cheap Chinese food and anal"
I like taco bell too
You know there's only so much I can do with a great personality.
The house is trashed, there is porn scattered everywhere like an easter egg hunt and the blow up doll is sleeping on the couch downstairs. someone covered her up.
I just had sex on a bear rug. My life is complete.
What are the signs of a concussion? Please don't freak out.
Those titties aren't worth a lifetime of listening to her talk about gluten free yams and japanese manga.
I heard him say "bet you won't", look over 10 seconds later and she's blowing him.....looked eloquent under the glow of a camp fire.
Bring one of those heart stabber things in case you go into shock. I'll jab you.
What kind of gift says "I'm sorry you accidentally stuck your hands in my puke (even though you should know better by now)"?
I need to have sex. It's becoming like a matter of public safety.
I renamed some of my contacts in my phone before passing out and I have one I cant figure out, its "fucking house elf scum"
Just to clarify, i'm coming over for tacos not a threesome
It is getting ridiculous, the elaborateness of the schemes I have to concoct so my suitemates don't know I'm pooping.
i just found a pair of your underwear stuffed behind my harry potter books...was that on purpose?
haha no, it was majik
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