Oh My! A car just drove by me a splashed me with a wave of water. I am drenched and soaking wet!
I am sorry--all I heard is that you are wet.
ejected that DVD during the department meeting.. it was our porn from last night. I have a new nick-name at work.
And then she started grabbing onto random guys legs, asking their names, and if they wanted to be friends... Haha, I love when the girls my ex's are dating are total drunken whores.
nothing like a negative hiv test and a bag of condoms to brighten my day.
idk if its the weather or the "im still drunk" or the morning sex i just had with my roommates gf but that was def the most enjoyable walk in the rain ever
He adopted an old drug sniffing dog so that he won't lose his weed around the house anymore. It works.\n
he thinks the dog can do a keg stand. i will let you know how it turns out
So instead of asking me for my number, he asked for my dad's because he wanted to "thank the man that helped create those tits."
I'm washing down the sadness with shots of vodka.
... Cuz there's nothing like having your two male roommates catching you have a good cry in the driveway at 9am on a Wednesday.
This is the beginning of the end. Testicle Tuesdays and free ball Friday are going to scar people for life
Dude that picute of your balls will haunt my nightmares
Why'd you print out every dick pic you've ever received and tape them to the bathroom walls?
I have a black eye again and dont know why again
Holy shit, we're married as fuck.
he called me 'mate' and i had to remind him that you dont call people mate who continously make your dick hard
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