He was like a Bill Nye the science guy of sex....he was telling me things about my clitoris that I didn't even know
You said that "grilled cheese was much to complex" and started to throw the buttered bread at the wall while eating all the cheese.
What did you give her? She's trying to tape her wrists so her hands don't fall off.
I'd just like to inform all involved that walking into a liquor store holding a milk crate at the beginning of a night as stock ends badly
Uhm; your sign says 'Welcome to KFC' and for some reason I can't seem to open the door.
We now only communicate via Xbox messages. Living together is so easy
Would I waste your time for mediocre porn?
Two cats fucking in the middle of the street. I sat there and watched in my car because I didn't want to cock block the male by honkin my horn.
Looking back on this weekend, I'm most grateful I never brought up with word "toe-fucking" at the bachelorette party.
i'm covered in glitter and body paint WTF
We're showing the video later bring pizza
He wore the same cologne as my orthodontist so all I could think about was how I hadn't worn my retainer in months
She has the best kind of daddy issues
You know shit got weird when you watched another guy shove drugs up your wife's ass and it wasn't awkward for any of us....
Dude no i feel my liver disintegrating
Just got high with dad
Correction: more high. He's sharing gummy bears with me.
Randomize
