I have demons in me.
nothing this campus sells is worth it. not even sex.
the semester is winding down: time to procrastinate by googling cheap keg options
Ahhh November 1st. National Untagging Day
you sat up and said "i'm the worst kind of roommate, the drunk kind"
I vaguely remember having a 'grass is greener' conversation about our nipples. Dream or beautiful reality?
Beautiful, beautiful reality
Bonus points if the penis has a little hat too
He's my BOYFRIEND but he won't sext me. I'll be like, "tell me how you want to fuck me", and he's like, "I love how we can talk about our feelings". FUCK
It's just not a Friday night unless I'm getting propositioned by a guy in a wheelchair via Facebook messenger...
Also I'm eating leftovers with a pair of bullet removal forceps (unused) because I don't have a fork.
My grandpa is driving me to get condoms and wine. This is adulthood.
She tried doing a backflip and ended up doing somersaults down the entire stair case.
So I totally had sex In a teepee last night at that wedding reception.
Sorry I bailed on you yesterday. I was propositioned.
And you don't turn down margaritas and oral.
Maybe those shots of hot dog water wasn’t a good idea after killing a fifth of tequila.. but who’s askin
Randomize
