I DONT WANT TO PLUS I THINK I FLUSHED MY KEYS DOWN THE TOILET WHILE I WAS PEEING
I'm cleaning my bathroom. That being said I found a klonopin and dropped it and stepped on it. Floor is clean im gonna snort it.
Congratulations, you are no longer the only person who has watched me drunkenly pee on their furniture.
Next time we throw a party together I would appreciate it if you didn't try to get my friends to hook up with friends of yours you know have herpes
dude. this chick is staring at me like i gave her brother herpes.
Tell your friends I said hi and that if they touch your penis I'll cut off their hands.
So. Do you think marshmallow vodka in hot chocolate while eating a graham cracker would = s'mores?
In some strange universe, yes
on my way to nyc to take a survey about my sexual activity. if you dont hear from me for a few days, assume they had me committed...
I don't know but this 12 year old kid is soaking up all of our bad morals like a super tampon on the second day of my period
I have never paid for drugs and I'm sure not going to start today especially on a holiday
She said it was unconventional for me to yell "Shazam!!" when I came inside her.
Vodka, rum, moonshine, I don't care, just bring like 5gallons.
well it was great until i saw his anime body pillow
I'm eating pizza in the bathtub
Is it bad that I like to have a guy to flirt with in every class? I feel like it's excellent motivation: to shave, to shower and to show up.
Randomize
