the whole time he was cumming, he did the joey lawrence WHOA. over and over. WHOA. WHOA. WHOA. WHOA.
Eating in charleston sc at a seafood place called "hymans". Like normal I had no problem finding it.
he told me my vagina was like a beautiful piece of salami
Ok so I could say "im sorry"...but instead ill just say "unsupervised...jager...military guys...green school bus called the juice box...and HUGE dick"
Dude, had to, it's Canada Day, I fucked her for Canada. Seriously, I put my Canadian flag on my bed and fucked her on it.
K, so let's go ahead and say that mcnugget and margarita Tuesday was a bad idea
How do you say "get out of my apartment" in Spanish. No time to explain, just tell me.
He was so good, that I'm pretty sure he fucked his religion into me. P.S. I'm Jewish now.
I mean I feel like if you explain to the emoji app company that your friend got plastered and fell to the ground and is trying to scheme her way back to normal life and get her dignity back they would understand just how necessary it is to have a fingers crossed emoji...
Yes, you can go into Petsmart drunk but the cats awaiting adoption don't appreciate the soft pretzels squeezed through their cages.
He just got home after serving 5 years in prison. And I think I may courtesy fuck him. Best Christmas present ever.
How do you say "put it in me" in Spanish... I'm dealing with language barriers here.
I really want to stop getting this drunk. I've got the Sunday scaries and it's only Saturday
If it were up to me his wife would never get his penis again, but I guess they have some sort of arrangement
Yes, an arrangement called marriage
Fuck this virus. We’re finally back on campus but the bars suck parties are banned sports are canceled we eat in our rooms and can’t fucking hangout with anyone. I’m tired of virtual classes and involuntary celibacy
OMG IKR! It’s not college unless we’re puking in a toilet wondering if we’re pregnant or just hungover!
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