No shame. Just smoked a bowl with a Norwegian. Feels like something to cross off a list.
I don't know how I feel about the stuff we got from that guy. Me and Monty are driving through town listening to static at full blast...
I apparently started to text you last night. All it said was 'the whole clam'. I hope that means something to you.
I left his apartment Bc I lost my id. Wandered 5 miles barefoot. Got lost in downtown la. My phone died so I asked for directions from a man at the gas station.. Turns out he was a bum. He led me back to the apartment AND he found my id.
It's like the whiskey god was watching over you
This is my transition from small talk texts to booty call texts. Coming over?
Quite the smooth talker. There in 5.
I need to stop drinking alone, I wrote a love letter to my tattoos
Adults smoke weed in footie pajamas man. You just gotta accept me for who I am.
I want to share a beverage of the alcoholic category with you, but I'm conflicted about getting out from under my covers.
Every time I burp I plan an escape route because I'm scared I'm gonna puke on grandma
My neighbors are white girl rapping to Hamilton again...
please tell me you're the one making all the weird noise in the yard..
2017 is gonna be explosive... Already watching fireworks out the window while shit my brains out. Happy Ew Year
Did you poop on the roof?
WTH?
Is that a no?
just licked the cheese off a burger. that high.
Pretty sure he proposed because my house is awesome. His ass is a ten and he's offering to pay more than half the bills... How expensive is a divorce really? I mean I could probably put up with him for three or four years but a lifetime is a big ask.
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