I'm sitting at the gyno watching cnn in the waiting room
Everyone is walking funny when they come out, ugh I'm not looking forward to this
Best text conversation ever. Other than the one we had about using blood for lube.
sweetheart all i remember is you throwing up and saying "i thought things would be better now that barack obama is president"
My fave moment of today was you sitting in a hot pink innertube puking into the ocean in front of a lot of children. i would have held your hair back but the ocean did it for you.
we boned then he told me that he had a thing for my gay roommate. worst night ever
Are we going out tonight?
My conscience says no but my vag says yes
Year anniversary in a month. Think I'll just give him a COME ON MY FACE FREE card. I'm both broke and shameless.
I hear sloppy seconds go great with fried rice
Babies are disgusting. I held one once. Then I washed my hands and rinsed my mouth out with wine.
I have a bruise on dick where you tried to "high five" me.
As I was puking, these 2 guys started peeing next to me chanting me on
Congratulations, you have turned my vagina into a garden hose.
Sorry about my sloppy drunk texts. I'm not sure talking about banging a near dead Jimmy Stewart was my finest moment
I am not walking across campus just to give you a blow job in the hopes that in return i can study more efficiently.
she gave me a ride on the back of her motor scooter and i swooned so hard
omg it's like all of your grease 2 fantasies come true i'm so happy for you
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