I'm like connect-the-dots of drunk. Whiskey, bourbon, vodka, rum, gin. The hidden picture is me faceplanting.
he doesnt exactly give off the "im mature enough to use my penis" vibe
Two people in the coffee shop I'm at are on a date and talking about how acid has affected them and the girl just mentioned meth. Fuck studying, this just got interesting.
He barely got in the door before she began to shriek like a banshee and punch him. His rainbow wig is still hanging from the front porch as a "warning to all other clowns".
i'm having taco bell mild sauce and tums for breakfast because i'm hungover and thats all i can find. it's like thanksgiving up in here
I could probably do something when Im able to get enough strength to think about thinking about to stand.
I may or may not have had sex last night then sent him home on a bike with two flats
YOU ARE TAKING ADVANTAGE OF MY INEBRIATED STATE
YOU ARE DRUNK AND USED AND SPELLED THE WORD "INEBRIATED" CORRECTLY. I AM TAKING ADVANTAGE OF NOTHING.
I CAN'T HELP THAT I'M MULTITALENTED YA FUCKER
Just killed a snake in my bed! And by killed I mean hit repeatedly with my fist. And by snake I mean a lump in the covers. And I pissed my pants.
I just want to emotionally destroy him but also find out how big his dick is so this is perfect
After you passed out we took your car to the campus and stole a 150lb plaque that's now in your trunk. Happy birthday!
he was high. i was rolling face. we were both wearing grateful dead t shirts. at that point it's like we had no choice but to fuck
I was having a serious heart-to-heart, and then the weed gummy kicked in.
See that doesn't work because we've had sex so its awkward for you to call me mom
You should have thought of that before emitting walrus sounds while intoxicated
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