omg my older sister has been googling "how do I know if I've had an orgasm?" and "bj tips". the family laptop is not meant for this...
there's a guy on campus handing out business cards. you pay him to see if your girlfriend will cheat. the company name is "tying up loose ends"
I think theres a high possibility i could be flammable.
I wasn't sure how he was going to followup "so,i shot myself.." i guess "w a nail gun" is the best choice out of what I expected
is year to celebrate how much I love you, I made a mosaic of your penis with conversation hearts. it's in your mailbox.\n\nHAPPY VALENTINE'S DAY TO YOU
He's in the hospital yelling at his brother to at least have stuck something "normal" up his ass.
Again?
My worst fear almost came to light...I was choking and the cats stared at me like they had no problem eating my face if I died
Signs you do Molly too much. Glow sticks fallout of random articles of clothing on academic row
also new logic of mine : I fuck a Scottish kid , Scotland national animal is a Unicorn airgo I've come close to fucking a unicorns descendent, mother always said dreams come true
dude his girlfriend left the meanest shit just marinating in our toilet. I'm gonna have to snap chat this out, theres no other option. prepare yourself
My drug dealer is giving me a 15% veterans discount on my weed for nov 11th
That's the best thing I've heard all week.
I made it out of the house. Success.
It's not better out here. I'm at Target hyperventilating in the aisles.
Im riding the bus with beer in one hand and chapagne in the other. I love weddings.
No bra. No panties. Makeup from last night. At work right now. I am trash.
I don't know what it is about this quarantine, but I have never written this much smutty fanfic in my life and I am loving it!
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