Lost. The hour! Funtime!!!!
never have phone sex with a hardcore republican during this health care crisis . just dont.
College is just filling the gap until I get a rich girl pregnant
I am waking up at 7am to go to church with him and his family... I better get eaten out tonight.
I'm drinking vodka out of a coffee pot. and i'm not even mad about it
come back what if one of your parents walks in and im just sitting here eating a cheesesteak without you
Not sure if he was actually hot or hot in a "he brought a live chicken to the party" kinda way but I got his # regardless
If life deals in absolutes, the in betweens are the most hairy.... Fortune cookie wisdom from a stoned Megan.
If I come home tho and find u passed out naked in my bed with the bottle of crown empty, we're gonna have issues.
I'm sorry, I can't help the fact that I like to sleep naked, and I like booze, together it looks bad, yes.
I left for five minutes and Chris wound up half in women's clothes, half naked. And the naked half was covered in shamrock stickers.
Yup on the verge of buzzed and drunk. I managed to make my way into my cat's box house to fall asleep. I'm comfortable
Naked snow angels was a very bad idea. My vag is now frozen shut.
Well I just found a coupon for cheese in the bathroom so I've got that going for me
I literally woke up walked into the bathroom, threw up and died this morning. Then went to my 8am.
After he finished he laid there and told me how much work that just was. I looked at him and told him not to ruin a good thing by opening his mouth.
Randomize
