I'm holding in my pee so that I can hear "Cowboy" in its entirety on the radio
I wish I was a guy so I could jack myself off anytime I wanted to
Don't use my boy Weezy to support your whoreish tendencies.
What did you even date her?
because emotionally unstable girls are great in bed.
Taking a shot for every status related to the patriots losing. Hello hospital.
wait can you just look around please? that was my favorite bra and i've already asked like 3 other guys
is it bad i banged a 25yr kindergarten teacher last night?
No thats like a top 10
I just woke up naked clutching a Taco Bell bag.
How do you have time to get laid so much in law school?
I like to set goals for myself. for example, he was my first libertarian
The key to alley sex is drunkeness.
announcing that you were the mayor of bjtown got their attention.
If you value your immune system buddy, walk away from that one.
I figured if he was OK cheating on his gf with a guy, he'd be OK with me posting his number to m4m Craigslist Ads
I smell like playdoh, sex, and ruined lives. I love the weekend
I am cleaning melted cheese out of my hair. This is a new experience for me
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