Dude, it's gettin so bad even my fantasies just wanna be friends.
9 am. shotgunning while conditioning my hair. i love college football season.
He just said "I made some changes in my life. The male g-spot is in the rectum and I wanted to explore that."
she added me on facebook and her celebrity doppelganger is rosie odonnel. FUCK
consequently i now know what mace tastes like
Dude you didn't move for like 2 hours then suddenly sang the chorus to ghetto superstar and passed back out
Was rudely woken up by strangers at 4:15am. I was leaning against the stoplight at 9th
She wanted to to do it on top of a horse, I can't compete with that
Wake up, take the dog to the trails, puke in the woods. More days should start like this.
And I don't know what it is about weed making me want every episode of the real housewives of everywhere
Using your ex girlfriend's little brother to pick up women at the a&p: priceless
Omg having my Grindr go off at the planned parenthood is just not okay
His balls are like really small, like dog sized balls. It was a weird discovery. Ever done a guy with dog sized balls?
Ok well i was gonna say you can only borrow my fog machine if you will use it to emerge from your room in a cloud of smoke after having sex with sarah, so yeah we're good
Puke-y regrets or just things-seem-far-away regrets?
Randomize
