I just want to hang out with her.
You're a liar. Why do I have to give you reasons you can't have sex with my mom? I hate you.
maybe if you didn't yell 'buh duh duh da duh da dats all folks' when you came she wouldn't have left last night
She told me a very interesting story, complete with pantomimes, about how she got a habanero seed in her vag
I went to moterboat her and I started laughing, so I just kinda blew on them... I think I'm gona call that move the sailboat.
okay serious question, the water is shut off in your house, do you attempt and use the clean toilet water for your new bong?
we managed to turn Dream Phone into a drinking game. don't hate.
who were those guys at the table sniffing dryer sheets?
Just did the walk of shame in front of his dad while I was wearing his gym shorts and my heels from graduation last night. Keep it classy '12
My boss just sent an employee on an hour long paid break to pick up weed for our 'staff meeting' tomorrow morning.
her mom went out of her way to book us a room with separate beds... her level of gay denial is in beast mode
I got a message from the hook up gods today that it's time to move on. It came in the form of me being shoved in a closet naked and stuck in there for 30 min well he watched boy meets world with his brother.
I've been eating like all day, let me suffer my one 'Dear lord, I'm the size of a small whale. One that doesn't even need to find being killed by illegal whaling because I'm not even big enough to provide an decent blubber, but still big enough to be considered for a brief moment.' moment in peace.
The sorting hat of life was not kind to you.....
I will be DAMNED if anyone but me breastfeeds my cat.
And don't worry, I have a great track record of rallying after a casual midday blackout.
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