I just found a bottle of gin in my vegetable crisper. Party is back on.
Look, we all have our slutty phases. Mine is just forever.
I just had a boat ride of shame. With Senior Citizens.
You slow clapped the stripper last night.
He's drinking 50/50 vodka/water out of a camelback. Disaster would be a compliment at this point.
Ok. I am hammered I will admit it but my legacy needs to live and your the only woman that could spawn satan. We need to talk.
I ate icecream cake off your tits for my birthday, if that's not love I don't know what is.
What good is being a girl if you can't terrorize boys with pregnancy scares??
I haven't seen her in probably 3 months and when she showed up wasted to my house she promptly pulled out her tit
I used my dress as a plate for pizza rolls last night
I'm currently sitting at your kitchen table eating chicken nuggets that I dug out of the trash and thinking about how much I need to get laid.
Safe to say we should stock up on nipple bandaids ladies
I’m a lady. I promise I won’t oogle your junk when we go skinny dipping.
He's UNCIRCUMCISED. And it curves. Two things I've never encountered in all my sluttiness and they're both on the hottest guy alive. :(
You kept saying, "please sir, can I have some more."
Randomize
