Jizz is so healthy, they should sell it at Jamba Juice. Call it "Jamba's Juice". Genius.
found out this morning via facebook that the guy i met last night has a wife and a baby and he took me to his apartment where he takes girls to cheat on his wife
i mean you met him at the daytona 500
Your kinda stuck between a rock and his hard dick on this one..
If I was there, I'd make you a vicodin spiked sandwich.
I just remembered how awesome your handjobs were in 7th grade, you were a true champ, thank you
I don't remember much but I remember it was a unanimous decision that Santa was indeed real and Cait's stripping somehow proved this.
I do. There's a bald headed guy whose kinda hot. I might rub his head. I've only had 2 beers
Peeing in public by noon, this is not a good indicator for the day.
We need to pull ourselves out of this slump. We need dick and lots of it. We are going to fuck our way to happiness.
I don't think you understand. Its the best fauxhawk you've ever seen. I look like a gay dinosaur.
That's the most beautiful thing I've ever heard. Can I call you littlefoot?
The profile of her ass is just unreal. Weird way to use profile I know, but never more accurate
You fell in the corner and refused to get up unless someone helped you. And then you crawled under the pool table and took a nap.
WAKE THE EFF UP THE UBER DRIVER IS TRYING TO TAKE ME HOME
Why don’t they have healthy alcohol yet?
Security showed up because apparently we were fucking too loud.
As your roommate I can attest that y'all do indeed fuck rather loudly
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