If i come over, it means nothing
My farts woke her up so I pretended to be keep sleeping.
You just left with that feminine looking guy you kept calling "Jessica." Just giving the heads up.
Ohh the wonderful, yet disgusting things she can do with her hair
apparently smacking a customer in the face with his iPhone was not part of the WOW factor we learned in training...
Jack off faster Americas best dance crew is beyonce themed
just wanted to thank u for shitting in my dads bidet last night. i had to manually scoop ur shit out of it. btw ur dumped.
you kept lying down on the floor at the bar just to prove you could get back up
It's like the bermuda triangle of cat puke
Dude. That is just waaaay to much random to process after that tequila battle.
I woke up with the suicide hotline number saved as 'Hot Guy Josh'
the amount of times i have been intoxicated, barefoot, and in a robe at 3 am at the quick check by your house is impressive, especially since i live an hour away
Any man who can do squats while fucking you is a man worth keeping.
God dammit everything I said last night about jungle juice being awesome just does not carry over into the next day
They stopped fighting to partake in M&Ms and porn.
Randomize
