I'm in that akward stage between jailbait and cougar
the facebook you made of my ass has 10 times more friends than i do.
I had fun this weekend too. According to Web MD, my symptoms say I had a miscarriage.
Waiting outside the STD clinic 30 min before it opens already in a line up. It's like were all waiting for a concert that no ones really pumped for
you almost dropped the shot glass then you thought you were such a hard ass for catching it that you slammed it on the table and broke it
My lips are red and swollen. Solid proof that giving head is a viable alternative to lipstick and plumper.
they drunkenly created an obstacle course for the poor hamster and its ball.
I ate goldfish off your shoulder, I think we had bigger issues
If they weren't representing Obama and the White House, they definitely would've punched me in the face.
FALSE ALARM! I didn't piss myself, I fell asleep in the shower and then drunkingly crawled into my bed
Dude, jerking off when you're all hopped up on pre workout energy supplements has got to be the greatest thing I've ever done.
If a marine in My bed is not considered a valid excuse for missing class then I don't want to live in America anymore
I've sold more douches working here than one man should sell in a lifetime
I wonder whether Megan will forgive me if i have phone sex in her attic
We drunkenly made out once four years ago and then he immediately vomited and honestly I've never gotten over him
Randomize
