when people say theyve been sober for however many years is that like couple beers not drunk sober, or no drinking sober?
i have a reoccuring irrational fear i'm going to walk in on my dad masterbating. Night.
mom took my condoms, found one in the trash the next day
I know she was great
And your hair- I'd make sure to pee on it first.
Also I may have a condom stuck inside me, but I won`t know til I check the couch coushions.
You are softly singing to the wall while slow dancing with it. I feel as though you should discontinue this behavior.
The shit I just took was my body's way of telling me bourbon and mixed nuts aren't an appropriate dinner. Well played, colon. WELL. PLAYED.
I didn't talk to any girls wearing masks because I wanted to avoid making the big mistake of making out with my sister.
He said he wanted to start giving out "sex souvenirs". I got a poster with a penguin on it.
Is it completely inappropriate to base my morning after pill purchase on if they sell coffee or not?
He said my vagina is harder to escape than the Temple of Doom.
I cant believe you made me read bad furry sexts
just took a pregnancy test before I went out drinking. if that's not drinking responsibly Idk what is.
He fucked me so hard my contacts fell out! Didnt know that was possible.
I'm just going to tell you this I knocked up your girlfriend. I didn't mean to I thought it was somebody else I wasn't drunk but it was dark.
The truth is better her than my wife.
Randomize
