Yes. UR adorable in a weird way.
Friends are holding an intervention and have no idea this gatorade is half vodka. This is gonna be the best intervention ever.
He sent me a video of himself jacking off. I am not kidding.
WTF??? Isn't he married??
Yeah but his wife is at a birthday party and I guess he's bored. LOL
I just watched a girl use a tall boy Coors as a rolling pin to make christmas cookies
People were stuck in the elevator screaming and freaking out. I banged on the door and yelled, "fire depart!" They got excited and then I ran away. lolz
He wants to make love to me in a sea of paint and wash my tears away with the brushes surrounding us..I've known him for 2 days.
Good news: he out-ran the campus police. Bad news: they were chasing him toward the REAL police.
Drunk walkin through police station. America
I have surprise drugs for everyone
Your engaged. Stop telling guys you will sit on their face. They don't always know your kidding.
I took "we live within stumbling distance of the bar" as an invitation and challenge
Well. Your father was, shall we say, privately surfing the Internet when he found a video of you and Kevin. This was on a very public website honey.
By the way, Kevin! OMG good catch honey!
Hey can you send me a copy of my mugshot? I need it to prove a point
WE'RE NOT MAKING A DICK PIZZA OKAY
All i want from a relationship is to get drunk watch pirates of the Caribbean and have sex
Randomize
