I'd be more interested in girls if they were more interested in anal.
Last night was epic. Hooked up with Emma Watson, found twenty bucks, and then passed out on my floor.
No you didn't. You drank unbelievable amounts of 151, passed out in someone else's bathroom, and we carried you back to your floor. Nice dreams though.
I don't want to talk about her cat for two hours only to dry hump till I'm blistered. Not worth it.
they arrested me when i was peaking, i'm pretty sure they were specifically looking for me but i was too busy rolling around, loving the grass to notice the police car..
I can't wait to find out the true size of his penis! Please maintain enough sobriety for an accurate report.
All i remember is people cheering me on to drink faster than the dog, out of the dog's bowl. I just couldn't stop.
Now that I've lowered my makeout age to 21 I have a whole new sea to fish in.
Needing to keep one leg on the floor during sex so you dont spin should qualify for some kind of drunk award.
Call me when you get up. This hang-over is like dismantling a bomb: I need someone to talk me through it.
All inclusive resorts are actually just places that livers go to die.
that bad?
u-n-l-i-m-i-t-e-d. f-r-e-e. t-e-q-u-i-l-a.
Eric and I just went in the hallway to practice our new handshake in a real life situation at live speeds. That high.
I imagine I kinda look like a banana with one boob out.
He visits one Denver strip club and now hes moving there
I did coke with the Royal Navy last night. God save the queen.
I'm at a Tim Horton's and two girls just came in handcuffed to eachother
Randomize
