Maybe I'll tuck it in and pretend to be a woman pretending to be a man that is attracted to women that are attracted to women who look like men
My gift to the freshman: I made an illegal stop, rolled out and dropped to my hands and knees and puked in front of the south campus dorms and about 20 families. Welcome to OSU
I'm someone's dream girl. I'm hungover in this guy's bed wearing ONLY a Brian Westbrook jersey. Not the same I was on a date with last night.
would it be subtle enough if I played birthday sex on repeat while I may or may not be stripping?
Dear Beer Goggles, it's time to see the eye doctor. With love, your biggest fan.
I was going to make out with him...then he licked syrup off the kitchen floor.
I vaguely remember making out with his tattoo (?) and giving him an awesome massage and then I passed out on his floor. Shrug
I have dibs on his crisis of faith.
The blow job award ceremony was a little much. You guys didn't need to call out what happened the night before.
What? How can you say that? You won!
I just want to lay in a bed of egg mcmuffins and cry
I'm in my bed. Snow angles in fresh sheets. don't even try to get me out tonight.
I got dropped off at my house at like 1030. Woke up hugging a street cat I've never seen before. Ended up drinking 260 oz of beer. 65 types. Then went out after blehhhhhh
The magician guy on probation is here at the bar. I'm gonna get him to show me a trick
I think you're overestimating how drunk I was
You said your pillow felt like the ocean...
"suitors" is just a nice way of her saying "the guys i'm fucking"
Randomize
