even a "fuck you" would be nice at this point.
we were taking shots of hot tequila, which is even worse than it sounds
he poured tabasco sauce in my vag.. I'm still having a hard time going to the bathroom.
I am paying my roommate as much of the electric bill in pennies as possible because I hate her.
First day at work... I clogged up the office toilet on purpose to assert my dominance.
They are baked and once again have spent the last 45 mins talking about opening up a world wide business called "pickle on a stick"
i will be the first lesbian to ever fail women's studies.
They're calling for 20 inches of snow but I'll have a dirtbike for emergency trips to the liquor store. Even if I crash it won't hurt.
Its official, drinking for 15 hours counts as a suicide attempt
Thanks for not locking your door. I had to pee and there was a random person throwing up in my bathroom so I used yours. \nPS I stole your soap
So note to self oboe reeds soaked in Apple Rubinoff sound GREAT.
we didnt plan anything. just randomly met up in the park, both reached into our pockets and each lit up a joint without exchanging words. we're telepathic potheads.
Thanks for the Beyonce article. In other news, I just passed a man with the state of Florida tattooed on his face.
I don't think I'll get invited back. I drunkenly told her that her kids would be perfect for a pro-abortion campaign.
Please tell your friend to stop shitting in my closet.
Randomize
