More tranny stories later!
between my moustache and how drunk I am it will be a miracle if I get laid tonight.
And then I'm going to yell into her vagina and see if it echoes
I hope he's okay, but I also hope he shows up with an eyepatch
I doubt the Taliban would support fake nipples.
It just hit me that I woke up to you in a bear suit. Explain.
We made the bar tender tell us how he proposed to his girlfriend. In detail. While we made gushing noises. We are embarrassments to females everywhere
I've never felt so epic in my entire life as I do right now, my bare testicles staring down the ocean itself
So I had a crappy evening so the fat girl in me says eat and cry and watch something sad. The cool girl in me says don't eat go run. So I'm watching family guy and doing crunches w a pickle in my mouth
Gross
AN ACTUAL PICKLE
I spy something regrettable...
Oh my god. Stop!! It was one time and I still can't believe it.
SCUSE ME I KNOW YOU DIDNT DO THAT MUCH COKE IN 10 MINUTES
I woke up just like any other Wednesday. Naked on the floor, hungover and covered head to toe in lube
I HAVE 5 FELTING NEEDLES AND THEYRE GOING DIRECTLY INTO YOUR EYES IF YOU POST THAT SHIT
That ass isn’t going to eat itself.
we had to take 10 shots sometime before midnight, then 11 shots between midnight and 1. so yes its gonna be a rough day.
Randomize
