She just got back from rehab. You dont celebrate that with margaritas.
are you looking for your table cloth? Cause I found it around my neck this morning...
well when i got there she was attempting to stick the cat in her mouth.. so maybe you should go check on her
Hungover snowboarding. Puked off the lift and traumatized a group lesson for kids. Crash course on adulthood.
Im cutting you off tonight ONE boy at a time
I don't believe in coincidence. I believe in the stars aligning perfectly to sodomise me in public. Who ever said I was cynical?
theres too many punctuation errors in that text to turn me on.
Masturbating during the Olympics and cumming during the national anthem really is everything it's cracked up to be. Just thought you should know.
because of daylight savings time I lost an hour of sex with an incredibly hot guy last night. thanks a lot farmers.
He got naked after doing the Ice Water Challenge and it was still enormous. So, yeah, I stayed over.
I'm gonna be the best dressed mother fucker to ever get kicked out of that damn bar.
I knew he was a classy dude because when I told him my name was Jen he said "Gin? Like Gin & Juice?"
you flipped over the sheets and there was my bed. filled with ding dongs.
My neighbor came out@4am in a pink nite gown n clotheslined a punk on a mo-ped w/her mop handle, then just walked back in her house like she just checked the mail. MILF 1 PUNK 0
I am beginning to doubt your commitment to my making poor choices tonight
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