your drunk exhusband is tryin to get with my drunk exgirlfriend. i think its funny. if you still talk to him dont say anything.
we're not divorced.
you said youd get me home safely, you dropped me off at 9:30 last night and i just woke up on my porch.
It's like a choose-your-own-adventure. But the adventure is already chosen for you. And it sucks.
His friends call him "Gasm".... Im going for it.
Of course I'm hard in the pics. If there's a chance that these pictures will cause a scandal later in my life I at least want my dick to look it's biggest
Just had to return the shit I stole from the dining hall, with everyone watching...apparently there ARE consequences for being drunk, coked up and belligerent.
Euphemism? No, "pantsless vodka yoga" is a legitimate pastime of mine
Note to self: Do not bring gift bag with cock ring inside to family Christmas. Leave to unwrap at home.
he asked me to lick his asshole and I told him his girlfriend could do that for him
All that fucking tequilla made my head feel like it's inside of a body builder's asshole. He's doing squats.
My walk of shame was 2 miles of feathers flying off of me, underwear in hand, and a homeless man telling me he'd pray for me. It was gold medal worthy.
I bet, I woke up to you like naked at 4 in the morning shoving a sandwich in your face
Saw a girl on a walk of shame bend down and look in a pizza box by a trash can to see if there was still a slice left. That's when you know
Holy shit, I wanna ride him into the horizon.
guess who got crunk and thought it would be a good idea to give herself a pixie cut?
THOUGHT
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