i fucked some guy last night. i called him nick jonas by mistake. i'm 24.
Some man just said he would jack off to my hair color.
She kept saying I was her favorite Jonas brother, and for some reason, I was ok with that.
I remember her trying to talk to me a few times after we broke up and I'd always change the subject to bagels.
When she showed me how she could touch her toes without bending her knees, suddenly her face didn't worry me quite as much.
The best thing he's ever done for me was comment on my profile picture saying "hello boner"
Well, my mom brought up me being vague about losing my license and she gave me the intervention look. so i left before they could bring out their heartfelt letters...
All I want in life is to get high, take a shower, and him to go down on me. Simultaneously. That's legit my idea of heaven.
Holy hangover, going dancing with family good idea, taking the last shot with the transvestite bar owner not so much...
I woke up half naked on the floor next to his bed, and his cat was staring at me like it had seen everything that i myself don't remember..
If, when you wake up, you're wondering why you're in the bathtub, it's because when I tried to move you, you yelled that that was cheating and tried to kick me in the face.
Fair enough.
I'm suffering a hangover from deep within. I feel like the half of the parts of my body are permanently laced with alcoholic substances
It's the 3rd day of the year and I've already sucked two dicks. New year same ole me.
Based on his face I'm positive he has a beautiful penis.
Is constant horniness a medical condition? Because a husband, a boyfriend and an office side piece should be enough penis for one girl - but they’re not :-(
Randomize
