Yeudjkisdjxbfceryuj. i love having a qwerty keyboard just so i can do that.
They made my facebook status "I got my period!!!." Every guy I've had sex with at college liked it.
How do I introduce myself to her without coming off as "the guy who jacks-off to her profile pic"?
she told me i tasted like america
Miserable. My projectile vomit just woke me up from a 5.5 hour nap.
You had me at "you have a nicer rack then her"
Apparently the cops have a video of me singing bob seger "Night moves".
well i fell out of the hot tub and tumbled down the hill and kicked a plant in the process.
I think I broke a hole in her wall trying to do backflips
Roommate is eating a chimichanga, watching Dr Doolittle 2 and weeping. His Tuesday hangovers make me feel better about my life.
So I just sneezed blood everywhere. On the upside. After yesterday I feel way more confident AND I give even less of a fuck.
At one point I yelled "THIS IS MY PENANCE FOR EVERYTHING I'VE DONE WRONG" and started saying Hail Marys
my new years resolution to eat more toast and mastrubate more often is going well so far.
He is currently passed out on his toilet. Point day drinking.
I haven't listened to news as I've been having lesbian sex all night. Anything new?
Randomize
