we just got in the car and birthday sex is playing
that is a sign the 3 of us should have a threesome
we agree. completely
you turned on the Care Bears movie at 5am and kept screaming "I CARE"
just spent the last 4 hours searching ex-girlfriend porn to make sure there are no photos of me
I have been drinking at the bar so long today that I literally just found a spiderweb from my leg to the bar.
I'm trying on my bridesmaid dress so that I can determine what will need to be done to achieve getting fucked while wearing it.
This is simple. Just sex and high fives. No feelings.
2 men making out for 2 seconds to trick a cop so they don't get arrested for being pulled over rolling a blunt is not gay.
I felt that there wouldn't be enough planB and forgiveness to go around
then she lifted her dress, tweaked her own nipples, and then ordered another round for everyone. this place is wild at 9pm.
I just watched two grown men tickle-fight. Just glorious. No words.
You poured 151 in your eye, ran face first into a tree, fell down, then threw a lawn chair at the dog...all before passing out in the hallway and pissing yourself. There is no way to redeem yourself.
I just found a nug casually in my room under my duffel bag. Is this a sign I need help?
I didn't think you were that drunk until you were trying to rub your foot on my vag under the table at the thai place.
God gave you your own nipples for a reason.
So random question: what's a good way to tell your brother that his Skype sex kept you awake last night? I'm not really sure how that conversation begins.
Randomize
