Just wana tell you im wearing assless jorts tonight. Ive been waiting my whole life for this.
The bouncer was being really rude for no reason. Steph PICKED him up and physically MOVED him from our path on the way out.
Well thats the pro of going out drinking with a pro body builder. Even if its a girl.
Finally buying a camera. Missed out on recording a 3way last night. Hindsight. Ugh.
They were scared I was going to get lost last night so they dressed me up as Waldo so someone would always find me.
if i actually get asked out by my dealer what could happen?
i don't know, but it probably involves bathtubs full of weed
If she wants experimental lesbian sex, i call dibs
lesson learned. Never drop acid before a trip to the aquarium. Sounds awesome, is actually terrifying.
Guess who's the proud owner of her very own foxtail butt plug!!
2014 decided to stick it to me one last time. Right up the ass.
She broke up with me after I spent the whole day speaking in nothing but Marshawn Lynch quotes.
I might be drinking a 4-day old opened beer on a Wednesday. You're in no position to judge me.
It would have only made it one day at my place.
After she got off the phone with her mom she sprinted down the block screaming "I'M SO GOOD AT BEING A HUMAN!!!!!!!!!!!!!"
Dude, I wish I could live my entire life blacked out.
I think I'm gunna glue a sign to my head that says "WAKE ME UP BEFORE 7!" And go to sleep and hope a kind passer by wakes me up for my exam .
Why is my belly button ring in my ear
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