Strip flip cup NEVER equals good idea
dude i feel like at any given point 3/5 of that family is trying to fuck you
We totally just fucked in a closet. These vacations with his family are causing creativity I never thought I had.
Jon thought he was that blonde chick from Three's Company when he was shrooming
Don't lose. A little bit of my soul dies every time a beer pong game is lost.
What do you wear to apply at a strip club?
We should install the 'help i've fallen and can't get up' buttons on our bodies for this weekend. Birthday weekend calls for extra measures.
On the plus side, I got cel phone video of a major fox news host doing coke.
Dude. If I met a dinosaur right now. we'd totally be on the same page. Brainwaves and shit.
This is one of those times I wish I had a time machine so I could go back and punch myself in the face to make me realize what I need to do before it's too late
There was a selfie of you in the dark pointing at the camera with a duck face. You sent it to my 60 year old mother with the caption "you behave"
Dude, you flipped off a cat from my balcony and yelled at it to get a house
Great news! In less than 2 hours, I'm ripping your underwear off with my teeth!
Just fell off my bed trying to pose and take a nude for you. Probably broke my wrist
HOLY FUCK I almost floated out of the city. Thank god my dog kept me down.
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