I justed realized that the word 'turd" is present in saturday
are you wasted or are you getting laid?
ebdebdebdebd
wow
Just bored and untired. I want to be in Austin. At college. Drinking someone elses alcohol. Am I asking too much of life?
Cure to hiccups..road head..high five
I gave up sex for lent.
I guess that means I'm postponing our date until after Easter.
you wanted the guy to gift wrap the condoms
he threw my burrito on the ground and said im too drunk. fuck that guy.
at least the person I hooked up with donates to charity, the shirt I was wearing this morning was his relay for life shirt.
And by "schedule" I meant crumbled up liquor store receipt, that I wrote shit on.
I'm ordering a French maid costume for my dog too. It's like a couples costume, except for losers with dogs.
Ohmygod. I don't know if I can explain how great it'll be. I hope you don't mind Subaru sex
What do you mean you don't want me to steal the manikin do you have any idea how expensive inflatable dolls are I can't get that for your birthday
Thursday could be nutella day. You could make me a nutella sandwich and then fuck me senseless
Haha! I swear, it's like I'm talking to Buddha with a slutty agenda. You are so full of wisdom.
OMG WE ARE UP TO THREE MINORS WORKING HERE. I AM NOT READY FOR THIS MID LIFE CRISIS.
Randomize
