That bitch is like a bad destiny's child song.
Hooked up with my old baby sitter last night, so what do I do? As I was sucking her tits I decided it would be a good idea to say " goo goo gah gah"....it wasn't a good idea.
I am 90% sure the kid in front of me in class is picking his face spots, smelling it, and then eating it. That is a LOT of % sure for something like that.
My 10 year old brother handed me a pack of condoms and said "here, i don't wanna be an uncle yet."
Thanks for stopping me from doing a one man keg stand by myself clad in only a towel. that probably wouldve ended badly.
I told him I wanted to have sex to "halleluiah", he suggested the poke-rap.
high. he's playing 'oops i did it again' on the ukelele. is this real life?
We role played last night. I was Brandon Inge and she was some slut from Toledo. Let's just say Triple A might not be so disappointing after all.
Guys with integrity exist just to rain on my slut parade.
Your smile makes me feel like I'm frolicking through a field of gummy bears.
I chased him for half a mile, lost him then somehow ended up at his house. Is that still considered stalking? I WAS drunk.
so you ordered business cards online last night with a picture of your dick on them. you need to hide that new credit card when you drink
Not really how I planned to achieve immortality, but I'll take it.
Sex and compliments. The way to my heart
His junk had piercings everywhere. The dick and balls. It was a fucking pirate penis.
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